Time for things to change. Positive attitude, getting there. A drive for things to get better, check. Alright, SYA. Show me what you've got to offer me for the rest of my senior year.

got accepted to west conn! otherwise known as wcsu, otherwise known as western connecticut state university. my safety school but its nice to hear back so soon.
three down, 7 left to hear from!
and two more theatre departments.

so let's see. it's only tuesday. and this week has already been hell.
last night, i got home about 730. tried going on my laptop and it froze so i tried restarting it but it never started back up.
i eventually ended up at the apple store and spent an hour and a half there.
basically, they could try and fix it and i would know by wednesday night if they had fixed it or if it isnt fixable.
but they dont have loner computers so i would be without one until wednesday night.
so basically short story, i ended up buying a brand new one.
you\re probably thinking, oh lucky her she has a brand new macbook.
well yes.
but no.
it was so much more expensive than in the US
and i have the spanish keyboard which is really had to get used to
they couldnt turn on my old laptop so i dont have anything that was on it
i lost all of my itunes playlists (which i can fix but it will take days)
i spent money we dont have because i couldnt do a payment plan because i'm a minor
and i had to buy the microsoft package so now every microsoft program is in spanish.
basically i was crying since they told me i wouldnt have a laptop until wednesday and it wasnt even guaranteed that they could fix it until about 1 pm today.
it was hell.
spain is screwing me over.
that was the short version.
this year has just been a mess.
and honestly everything bad that could happen has pretty much already happened.
this year has just been a nightmare.
and of course my laptop would break the same week i have my nyu skype interview.
i couldnt take a chance and end up not having a laptop on friday.
thank god i had all of today to get everything set up that i had access to. hopefully we can get most of my stuff back from the time capsule back home and my parents will hopefully send a flash drive to me.
i'm just really looking forward to not being in sya anymore. even though i will miss julia, ana, and luis terribly. and most of my friends of course.

I want to give a shout out to those of you who are reading my blog from Sweden, Russia, Philippines, my friend Amrit in Germany, and my awesome friend Jelena who is reading this from Croatia!
Thanks to everyone who reads! I know recently my posts haven't been the happiest but I think that'll start changing soon!

Fiesta on Tuesday!

I just have to point out how cute Julia is when she says she's going to go take a nap. "I'm going to take a siesta because my eyes keep slowly closing as I'm going things!" Then she has her cute little smile and giggles and goes off for a siesta :)

So last night was actually a lot of fun!
I met up with three other girls and we walked around a lot, ate, and just kind of explored. Theo and I split off around 11:15 and found this youth hostel with an awesome basement that was like an authentic dungeon with free live music! It was awesome! And a lot of fun!
We ended up running into another group of people on the way home and hung out with them until around 1 am. Then Colin and I shared a cab home because we weren't going to make our 1:30 curfew and we live in the same building so it made sense.
I stayed out until 1:20 am..can you actually believe that?!

Don Quijote

Last night we went as a Myths and Legends class to see Don Quijote, the play. It was actually called "Yo Soy Don Quijote" or I am Don Quijote. It was funnier than expected but it wasn't really about his adventures like in the novel. It was more like they were actors playing the parts in the novel. It was a little strange but I'm glad I can say that I've seen it. I probably only understood around 15% of what actually happened, though haha.

Familia

Today a little cousin(?) is coming over! His parents are going to a surprise 40th birthday party for someone else in the family so he is coming over here. He's 9 years old and Julia was really worried about him wanting his mommy the whole time but now he knows that there is "una chica americana" in the house and he's so excited! haha I hope it'll be fun. She's hoping that because I'm here he won't cry for his mom. Here's to hoping!

So

I finally realized why I'm so unhappy here.
1. I'm not performing. Theatre class shouldn't even be called a theatre class because it's a joke.
2. I only have more or less 3 friends. Yay.

Yoga!

So I went to my first yoga class here last night and it was really great. It was a lot different than yoga in the states. It was mostly like lets lay on the floor and breathe but it was sooooo relaxing. It was probably the most relaxed I've ever been. And the ladies were so nice. After the class, they were asking me all about where I live and how I like Spain and a few spoke a little English! They were so cute.

The class is held at a spa and because I signed up for three months at a time I get a 5% discount on anything at the spa! Woo!

So there is one thing I have neglected to mention...
McDonald's is equivalent to the dramat corner in the library. It's so weird to get used to that idea!
Also, the McDonalds here are super duper fancy. On the left after you walk in it's the normal menu but on the right it's practically like Starbucks. My dad gave me grief about it. But it's basically like going to a cafe with Wifi! It's our hang out spot to do homework before flamenco on Tuesday nights :)

Journey into Torrero

The other day I was walking to the bus stop in Torrero, my neighborhood, and I noticed a building that I had never noticed before. I was shocked! I had no idea how I could miss such a huge, beautiful building that I walk by every day and most of the time twice a day! I knew it was there, so to speak, because I knew there was a government building there I had just never actually seen what it looked like. It's amazing to think that even in a new place, I am still walking to get somewhere instead of walking for fun to discover different things.
In the beginning of the year with two of my friends, we went to dinner and then went walking around my neighborhood until we found a really cute cafe on the side of the canal. And it was in my neighborhood! The coffee was really amazing and the dessert was too! I went home to tell my host mom about it to see if she had been there and she told me I knew the neighborhood better than she did!
That just blows my mind. But I'm glad I get explore and discover so many cool and unexpected things. This weekend, a friend and I have plans to get some tea and then just explore! No specific plans necessary!

Catching you up?

Let's see..
We now have a 1:30 am curfew on weekends.. I'll let you know if I ever actually stay out that late hhaha
The president of SYA, Jack Creeden, is here this week visiting classes and such. (Sorry, I'm not sure if I spelled his name correctly.) He's a really nice guy.
I got accepted into pace University!!! I find out about there theatre program March 30. Still waiting for so many answers but to have two already makes it a little easier.
I still am really homesick. But I am determined to finish the program and come home when I am supposed to. It'll make coming home in May that much better.
I believe I am going to Madrid with a friend next weekend (not this one but next one, hence NEXT weekend). Woo! Yay independent travel! I'm trying to take advantage of it in case they take it away after April 1 if I don't finish all 30 required hours of activities outside of school.
I think that's it for now..
Message me if you want to talk or if there is anything you are curious about that you want me to post!

Reflection

So here are just some thoughts reflecting on my journey with SYA so far..
First off, I am so grateful of everything I have gained and will gain from this experience. I am more mature, more independent, stronger, and bilingual!
I also know I am really glad that I now have a larger appreciation for art and for different cultures, especially different Spanish cultures.
I know this experience has been really tough and it still might be but the outcome will be worth it. I may seem sometimes like I don't appreciate the opportunity I've been given but it's just been a lot harder than anyone ever said it might be.
Some advice.. when applying to ANYTHING always ask about the cons or what the other kids who weren't always happy did to make the time pass a little faster but to still get a lot out of the experience. SYA never mentioned how hard the academics would be or that someone might possibly not have a good experience. I don't blame them because I should have asked or realized that with most things I am not usually a normal person and could have taken a guess that my experience would be different than just all smiles and quotes from the year.
I really love Spain and I really love my family. I have gotten a lot out of this trip and I know I will continue to get more out of it until I leave. Maybe I just needed to prepare myself better.

Pamplona!

Just got back from Pamplona tonight! It was a lot of fun.
We got lost yesterday trying to make it back to our hotel and instead of taking 10 minutes it took an hour and a half hahaha we got A LOT of exercise. But it rained basically the entire time we were there. About 18 out of the 24 hours we were there haha
We saw a lot, though and it was a good trip.
We went to the cafe that Hemingway used to go to and ate there.
We walked the avenue where San Fermine takes place- where the bulls run in the summer.
We saw the old part of the city and it was so pretty.
We met a lot of really nice and helpful people, most of which were very interested in where we were from because our Spanish was so good.
I found a lot of really cool items such as a cow mug with four legs and Egyptian tarot cards!

For those of you who are interested, I will try to put up my trip pictures tomorrow for you all.

So let's see. This week..I have mixed feelings about so far. I haven't even had time to think about Pamplona yet!
My retainer broke. Or broke a while ago and I just thought there was something stuck in it which was why it was hurting/feeling funny. So hopefully I can do to the orthodontist before Pamplona! If not I can deal with it until I get back. It's only one night away from home. But it's my permanent retainer so it's a bigger deal but I'll figure it out. Just nothing was really going my way this week.
Except for my flamenco class last night! So much fun!! Definitely a decent work out too :) I bought my skirt today and I'm excited to continue! I have my contemporary class tonight and I might be starting art classes tomorrow if I don't get an orthodontist appointment. We need 30 hours of activities before April 1 so I have to pack in everything before Spring break and then after Spring break I can relax more and enjoy the things I'm doing and not do them because I have to. Hopefully this weekend will make this week a little better!
Still super homesick. And of course I don't want to leave early, but I do really miss home. Especially with a lot of things going wrong all at once.

Well, it looks like that internship isn't going to work out. After talking with my english teacher and getting all excited for it, she said he actually has no decision in who gets an internship or not and won't even be in Europe next month. So awesome. They have classes but they don't really fit into my schedule but I might be able to make one work. We'll see. Hopefully this can still turn into something fun and exciting.

I completely agree with the idea of time perspective. It is so weird to think about how people from different places live life differently. I never really noticed that I was a future-oriented person but thinking back, I definitely am. I am always planning and looking toward the future. It isn't necessarily a bad thing, because most of the time I am just looking forward to something.
This defines national character because you can tell where or about where someone is from and how they think by how they walk and how they talk. If they talk a lot about looking forward to things and walk fast, they are future oriented like most Americans. If they walk slower and talk more about the present or about old memories, then they are more past/present oriented. It's so weird to think that not everyone lives life the same way or goes through life thinking the same way to reach their goals!

Being in the moment vs. Obsessions with capturing the moment

I definitely would agree that we are more focused on capturing the moment than we are focused on living in the moment. I definitely tend to take more photos for instagram instead of actually taking time to stop and admire the beauty before me. Our generation relies so much on technology and on our iPhones and that makes us so much more future-oriented. I also think our generation was brought up with the fact that we are always thinking ahead, whether it have a negative or positive connotation. I think we need to remind ourselves often to live in the moment, to enjoy what we are given and to admire the beauty around us even if we must look for it first. I know I'm definitely trying to start doing that too.

Persefone

Last night my friend and I went to the play, Persefone. We thought it was going to be about the Greek Myth in some way, maybe with a bit of a modernist twist. Well. It was so modern I don't even know what we saw. Words in Spanish nor in English can be used to describe what we saw. Our mouths were open the entire time. We were so in awe at what we were watching. Just oh my gosh. No words. It didn't even tell the story of the myth! It was just a bunch of weird for an hour!

THANK YOU for all of the views so far! I still have about four months left and I hope to make my posts more enjoyable from now on :)
This week I will be starting a flamenco class and a contemporary class!
And I am going to Pamplona with three friends Friday and Saturday!
Tengo muchas ganas de ir!

My Shining Moment

Got asked directions today! I was waiting for the bus and someone asked me which bus to take to go to a certain neighborhood. And I was actually able to understand and give a correct answer on where to go! Felt so good. Such a great moment :)

http://www.sya.org/s/833/news.aspx?sid=833&gid=1&pgid=1158

Well, I had sort of a realization today.
First I must start by saying that whenever you hear someone talk about their SYA experience, it is ALWAYS positive. They don't include the bad stuff, and of course there are bad things to every situation.
I'm sorry if my posts make it sound like I'm not taking advantage or appreciate everything I've been given because it's more than that. So far, my SYA experience hasn't been the super amazing happiest and best year of my life. I do, however, absolutely LOVE my host family and I am really interested in the culture and way of life that the Spaniards live. I love it. I am just not in love with the program.
My reasons being:
First off, they aren't at all supportive and understanding for the seniors. We have 9 seniors out of 70 kids and the teachers aren't understanding as to how much work we actually have to do along with the homework they give us.
Second, they don't try to create personal relationships with the students. It's all work all of the time.
Third, I'm not really connecting with the kids like I do back home. I know I can't compare to Red Door people, but I really only get along with 4 or 5 kids here. It's also hard being around the same people ALL of the time. If I spend a week with you going to school, chances are I will be sick of being with you by the weekend and will want to hang out with someone else. That's just how I am. And I don't really have that option here.
Don't get me wrong, I am definitely trying my best to take advantage of the program. My friends and I are going to Pamplona on the 18 and I really want to travel a lot this semester. I just merely want to point out that though you may only always here amazing things about SYA, not everyone has that type of experience. A lot of kids here are now starting to really hate the program and that does happen but no one hears about the bad parts because it distracts from the positive "propaganda" for the program.
I'm not at all saying that you shouldn't do SYA. I think it's an amazing experience and really helps you grow as a person and can also really help you find yourself. I know I have gotten a lot out of it in that way and I'm extremely grateful for that.
I am however suggesting to juniors interested in applying that doing SYA as a senior is a lot harder and I wouldn't recommend it. But of course it is your decision in the end, I just want to give you a heads up that it's hard, a lot harder than I expected anyways, and it's not all smiles and travelling. It's a lot more of working Saturday nights and stress crying. (well for me it was haha) But first semester is the hardest and I think second semester will at least be a little better and will go by faster, even though first semester flew by.

Got to Madrid almost exactly 24 hours ago. Took a cab to the train station, waited two hours, took the train, took a cab to my house and ended up home alone for an hour as soon as I got back. I don't know if that was nice or not still.
The girl next to me on the plane was starting her college year abroad and was asking me tons of questions but she was nice. I gave her two kisses in the airport after baggage claim and she ACTUALLY kissed my cheeks hahaha oh well, she will learn.
It was really great to see Julia.
But I'm still ready to come home.

First day of classes..and jet lag. This should be fun.

HW #3

"The pleasure we derive from journeys will depend more on the outlook we travel with than the places we travel to."

This is so true no matter where you are going or for whatever purpose. If you have an open mind and are willing to embrace other cultures, you will get so much more out of just going to a place to see the pretty buildings or try the food. By going to Spain, I tried to keep as much of an open mind as I could and it seemed to work because it was so easy to adapt to their way of life and honestly, I love it!

HW #2

"What am I doing here?"

I have asked myself this question so many times while being in Spain first semester. I never really was able to find a concrete answer to satisfy my wondering but I do know that the experience will be totally worth any questioning I did, especially the first month or even the first semester. I know in the end, I won't want to leave despite the fact that I don't really want to go back at the moment.

HW #1

"Wherever we chose to go, we will always come up against the inevitable gap between dreams and reality."

I can connect to this quote so much, especially this year. My dreams of SYA and Spain were so different than the reality of them. Spain and SYA were idealized so much in my mind and SYA didn't end up equaling those dreams. I am still happy I am going through the experience but my dreams and expectations are now lower going into second semester. Life is always a disappointment and I can accept that but it's hard realizing that's my reality.

Break

The past two weeks have probably been the best two weeks of this school year so far. I know that's probably a horrible thing to say but it's been so great to be home with friends and family and Noodles and honestly it was so worth it to make the trip back.
Of course I am not very enthusiastic about going back but I'm going to try to make the best of it. Hopefully it'll go by faster if all else fails. I am really looking forward to traveling with my friends and being in Spain without having to worry about college apps!
Here's to a better 2013 :)
Spain, I'll see you in almost 2 days!

feliz año nuevo a todo!